I have an internal enemy, the enemy of my existence

It's what happening in my mind.

Many other seems to have the similar enemy, the one that you can't run away from.

Can you believe the one that manufacture the most horrifying fears for you is with you all the time.

Carrying the most creative and lethal weapon is always with you, within you.

Exteremest plots and actions rise up from it.

Manipulates you into things you don't want to be in.

Mine is scary, pushes me to get scared. Makes fear out of nothing!

Wants to take me into comfortable zones when there's a smallest problem. Even a slightest possibility of difficulties can ignite my brain's engine to outline scenarios to make me not move forward but change the path or take many steps back.

I don't want to step back.

I don't want to be feared.

I don't want to be lazy.

I don't want to be the one I don't want to become.


I want to be sharp.

I want to be disciplined.

I want to be rude, selfish and selfless and brutal, at least for myself.


I live in an era that people need to take motivational courses and books or therapy to learn how to stop pushing the snooze button when they wake up.


It's no longer life and death.

It's all about not being motivated enough!

Seems the internal enemy has won many fights.


I've been fighting with my myself since day 0.

I won't be the loser, I'll be the winner, no matter how bloody it gets.

So far, so many loses, very few wins.

It will be many wins, very few loses.





Alireza Savand • 2018 Nov 04

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